The funniest things I've read today. I said "read" not "said"

9 AM
(This is from my mom. Not that website I like about crazy moms)

From: Mom
email subject: i tried to call you...
body: did you block my phone number? that's what the recording said.

1 PM
(after being told to rejoin Twitter. I do everything Alissa DV tells me to do.)

Not leaving the house today. Snow + huge cut on chin + Dede is the best friend in the world, delivering me Uncommon. A dream come true. (My last Twitter update from 1:14 PM Jan 1st, 2008 from web. Oh, first DA's New Year's.)

3 PM
(Katherine's dad is hilarious. That's why we called him Serge instead of Roger)

Hi Sweetie,

I really dislike e-mails with shit and barf in them...so try to refrain from that for my sake.

4 PM
Me: I am going to a Skidmore Young Alumni happy hour tonight
Jocelyn: Don't get drunk and throw up like X did.

4:45 PM
(after I responded to Robin's Twitter update about feeling like living in the movie The Ice Storm without the story line)
Robin: if you ignore the plot of the film "The Ice Storm" I feel like I'm living the movie. (2 weeks ago on Twitter)
Lily: No swinger parties for you, Robin? Or "hanging out" with the little boy next door? (on Twitter, today)
Alissa: lily why did you accuse robin of being a swinging pedophile (on GChat)
Lily: because he mentioned the movie ice storm. and thats what happens in it (on GChat)
Robin: What?? (on Twitter)
Robin: Oh. Ice Storm. (on Twitter)
Alissa: good job twittering lily (on GChat)
me: sincerely? (on GChat)
Alissa: well. sorta. you did it, which is good. but you found a post from two weeks ago and called someone a pedophile. we're almost there (on GChat)