Instructions for Leading Obnoxious, but Mildly Entertaining Conversations

In a small crowd of self-proclaimed hipsters (if they are real hipsters, they won't proclaim this), follow one of the two following paths:

1. Ask which Cat Power album they like best. Whatever they say, insist that the last album, The Greatest, was truly the greatest Cat Power album. They may agree, they may fight you on this, but defend it with zeal and using only the words "great," "greater," and "greatest." It's fun.

2. Ask where they stand on the Mars Volta vs. At the Drive-In debate. If you are really brave, claim you think Sparta should be given some credit, too. They might even be the greatest. Wait for someone to say they had this debate already in 2003 when Deloused came out.

(Inspired by real events... last week)